The last few months have been tough. I have my share of tough things to slosh through, and I have had friends that have had their share of lousy things to trudge through as well. My students have had people from their schools commit suicide, and it has been a rough season for many for various reasons. (not to mention being too busy for my own good. it's taken me 4 days to get this entry finished!)
But the thing I want to point to is the idea to keep going. To stay on the move. I remember one of my friends in college saying that when he wasn't sure where/what all he wanted to do as he progressed in college, that he decided to stay in school rather than back off, saying it was better to keep moving than to stop. Made a lot of sense to me then, but it makes even more sense to me now. I appreciate his view on that a lot more than I used to.
And so, for you, if you are feeling the weight of life, keep going. I was talking to a friend today, and he was saying the same kind of stuff. Rather than having lots of vague questions of God with no answers, ask for some specific things, and see what happens. You will find answers, even if they are no's. Stay on the move, because that is a good place to be. As my friend said, by saying what you want, what you're thinking you allow God to acknowledge what you want, and He might say yes, or He might derail you, but you'll know where you are at least.
I have been asking myself questions since my vacation. Well, maybe a bit ON my vacation. Of asking where God is on the move, because He usually always is somewhere (side note: often times this IS OUTSIDE THE WALLS OF THE CHURCH!). And I have been asking a lot of where is He on the move. Haven't figured that all out yet, but I am hoping that when that happens I am in a good place, and that good things are going on.
And, at the same time, I have to overcome a lot of fear of variables and things I don't get to control. Or fear of things not working how I want them to. Being afarid of not making enough money, or of landing in a season that is worse than what I am in, or "x" fill in the blank. I forget how liberating it can be to trust, try to have faith and let go of my need to KNOW what is going on. Now, that doesn't mean you throw caution to the wind, because, you have to be smart about things. For me, I have to think bigger than me, because I have a marriage and a family to consider. Throwing out total control doesn't mean you throw out your intelligence too. Have to have both.
Another thing that is keeping me inspired is this group called "People of the Second Chance." They are an amazing community to be tied to, and I am glad to walk with them. Because I need to know grace in my life and in my leadership. And because it is important to be a person of grace and 2nd chances over and over and over. They are the grace version of how I feel about hope. I need to be a person of hope for myself on days when hope seems gone, and I need to be a person of hope because life is big and messy and beautiful, and it all points to a person. And hope is a powerful thing.
So, while you need to be smart and intentional about what/where you are going, hold to grace, cling to hope, and keep going.
Or, put it another way.
love on purpose.
live deeper.
