So, a while back (and sadly only 2 posts ago...) I started a process about how to find a church. Regardless of WHY you are trying to find a church, you need to connect the dots on the HOW, and find that place, and plug in.
There are important factors to consider in what your church is about, and what that means to you. This is the other part of the conversation that makes the difference. Now, before I get into this, I need to say that a person's commitment to a church is a deeply personal thing, and that as believers, we all need to respect this about each other. Here's what I mean. Take my family for instance. My cousin (who is 2 weeks younger than I am and so I feel it a fair comparison that we are in similar age/stage of life), has been a part of the same church since before he was even a blip on the radar. He has never left. He feels a very deep tie to the place he has grown up. This is great, and I love that about him. He has "survived" a building relocation, ditching the choir robes, reinstatement of the robes, changing the color of the choir robes, an added monthly contemporary service, doubling the size of the campus, mission trips, staff changes, hardships and strains between people at church, COMMITTEES, and much more. I love that he is that committed to a (one) church. That said, this story is not true for all of us. Some of us have been burned, or just don't have luck with places, and as such, we tend to carry a bit of mistrust. Neither is more right than the other, it just simply is, as near as I can tell.
So, here are some more thoughts about finding the right place:
1. heart is key: What I mean is this, that you need a level of similar heartbeat with a place that you want to go. For example, if art is important to you, find a church with an arts community. If ministry to a particular group of people matters to you, find a place that targets those people. (i.e. don't find a church with a dog blessing ministry if you want to network with the homeless community in your city. you will find yourself in a constant state of frustration)
2. don't just find a church of yes men/women: Be willing to spend time with people outside your age/stage of life. They have good questions, good wisdom, and them disagreeing with you may turn out to be a really great thing. Either because their angle has great insight, or because their questions will provoke you to have a concrete answer about why you feel the way you feel. Either way, it's a win.
3. don't let "style" be THE issue: YES, we have preferences of how we like worship to look, and YES we tend to gravitate to those places, but don't let that be the defining issue of where you go. If we all just picked church based on the style of the place (be it music, facilities, how hipster the pastor is) we would never go, or there would be 3 churches in the world. (the old traditional one, the cool hip rock show, and the one for all the weirdos that don't fit either of the other 2) Sure, how a church worships can be helpful in finding a place, (if you connect with God in certain ways, a church that helps engage those is good) but it shouldn't be the only thing you look for.
4. know what the Church is meant to be, and find THAT: Look at the end of Acts 2, where they talk about the traits of a church. Remember that the Church is meant to be the bride of Jesus, and we are His sons and daughters. And to find a place that knows those things and embraces those things is important. If the place doesn't feel like what the Church is meant to be, ask why. Look for answers. Ask staff or people in the church you are visiting about it. If the answers leave you doubting, that may not be the place to land. Move on, and keep hunting.
5. consider WHERE you are in life, WHERE you want to be, and HOW your church ties into it: If you are, say, like myself, (an almost 30 year old with 2[ish] kids and a wife), find a place that values young families. Please note that I didn't say find a church of only young families. We need older generations to pass on wisdom we can't find anywhere else. We need those people in our church. BUT, if the church you visit doesn't seem to place any emphasis on that group (i.e. all classes/small groups/etc are targeting 60+ with nothing for young people) they are (intentionally or not) avoiding you and your age/stage. Probably not your place to land, though it could be. It just may be more of a fight.
6. avoid the numbers game: Large numbers of people doesn't equal a healthy place. Conversely, a small church doesn't equal an alive place where everyone knows/loves everyone. It just means the cliques are smaller. If you grew up in a small church, you may find you love a big place. If you grew up in megachurches, you may find you like a small community. The numbers simply don't matter. I've found places as small as 10 that I loved, 800, or 2000. All great places. When it comes to church, size doesn't matter.
Again, this isn't some sort of exhaustive, end all list, but it is some food for thought. Feel free to add to the conversation. Would love some feedback.
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