hey all, quick warning. this blog is pretty much just for me. I mean, I'm posting it, and if you read it, that's fine. But I'm making a list for me of things to remember, and for me to have out on the web so I can always come back to it.
my grandmother passed away this week, and we had the funeral yesterday, and so, I'm working though it. But I made this list of memories one night after she was gone, and I wanted to keep it. Some are great and random and some are just fun. Ask me about them sometime if you want. my grandma was the best, so sharing stories is always okay. here goes...
::memories with mo::
> having a birthday buddy for 28 years (we had the same b-day)
> her house with the bright blue carpet
> the cars I played with at her house
> eating double stuff oreo's.
> going with my mom at least once a week to hang out and help house clean
> my growing/maturing ice cream palate (all before age 10). as follows:
* lime sherbet
* peppermint
* butter pecan (which I didn't like, and still don't)
* after dinner mint
> her keeping up with my changing soda preferences (some order similar to this):
* coke - dr. pepper - pepsi - coke - grape slice - pepsi - orange slice - grape slice - pepsi
> her spending the night with our family @ christmas, which was the best. make AWESOME cinnamon rolls on christmas morning, and open presents together (until i was an early teen?)
> watching the OJ Simpson highway chase (which didn't make sense. we didn't like OJ per se, but it was weird and we were over there hanging out, so we watched it)
> her house had a BIG hill in the back yard, which meant one thing: high speed slip 'n slide.
> climbing the crab apple tree in the back yard.
> racing her car in our front yard when I was a kid and she would leave to go home. (which grew from our yard to the neighbor's, and was almost 4 yards long before we retired the game.) she always let me win, though she made her car sound impressive with some neutral revving.
> the pillow she had in her car. had this massage thing that was dying, and it always made me laugh because I thought it sounded like a fart. she always put up with that too.
> her passenger window in her oldsmobile. it made an AWFUL sound when you rolled it up.
> beating on her pots and pans when I was a little kid. they all thought I would be a drummer when I grew up. whoops. : )
> her laugh/smile
> going with her places. I remember this one time we went to target, and I really wanted some cheesy toy, and I was being a brat about it, and she lovingly yet firmly told me to let it go. I still remember that, and hope to discipline my kids like that.
> going with her to kamp's, back when it was still a grocery store. i think about that every time I go eat there.
> visiting her up at epworth, in her various places. in her first apartment, she used to wave from the balcony when we would leave. i will never forget that. spending time there with her (with the fam or alone) were the best times. and she still kept oreo's around for us when we visited.
> eating lunch/dinner with her at epworth. I would show up in jeans and a polo (or something very un-fancy), but she would introduce us to everyone at dinner like we were the president.
> the green robe she made me when I was a kid. that thing was awesome.
> watching anything OSU with her. though, specifically football. she knew more about the football team player's, stats, etc. than i ever did. even recently.
> spending the night at her house when I was a kid.
> it was a big deal when she got cable, we got to go watch all sorts of stuff we didn't have at my house. lots of nickelodeon, and I remember watching rin tin tin episodes when I would spend the night.
> i remember hot chocolate and apple cider at her place when it got cold. good alternative to oreo's and milk in the winter.
> being in mother's day out with her. I remember thinking I would get away with more if she was in the room b/c she was my grandma.
> I remember my sister and I would try to sneak up on my mom and her while they would talk and we would play. she would always play along, but was ALWAYS aware which corner we would peek around. we never got through without getting caught.
> her and my sister getting into "love you more" fights. they would always work through this progression of who loved who the most, and it would always build and build and end in a lot of laughter and hugs. maybe the best game ever to play with a grandparent.
I will come back and add probably as I remember things, so feel free to come back and add to them in comments if you like. lots of memories.
I think the thing I loved most about her was that she taught me all about loving people well. She did a lot of things right, and she loved everybody so much. Her taking care of family was such a big deal for her, and she was incredible at being a leader in the fam, both in words of love and encouragement, and in actions. Simple things like giving grandkids cookies, telling people she loved them, spending time together.
Maybe it is nostalgia for me to run around places like kamp's and other places and such, but I think between how I grew up and knowing/watching how she lived, I learned a lot about the need to love people well, and the importance of loving where I live. And it has made loving OkC really easy too.
I will miss her terribly, but I have a lot of memories obviously. and those memories will help on days missing her hurts. and I trust that I will see her again, and it will be so much better the next time. Still hope she has oreo's though, and maybe coffee instead of milk, though I will always go for milk and oreo's. I could never outgrow that.
love on purpose.
live deeper.
Hope you've had a chance to see the Help-Portrait recap video. If not, it's a part of the blog. Check it out. It was such a great day, for so many different reasons. The first of course being the chance to do something incredible for people in need. That was so great. Meeting the people, and getting to hang out together with them was a great thing. Getting to borrow someone's super nice photography setup wasn't too bad either. I shot with some incredible lights and backdrop for a while, and it's given me the "buy nice gear" bug. But that's for another time later in life.
Here is one of the things I really enjoyed about this project: I got to be a part of something bigger than me, just for me. I wasn't doing it because I had to, and I wasn't doing it because I am the youth pastor and it's a part of my job. I got to do this just because there was a great opportunity to do something good for someone else. And that was great.
Don't get me wrong, I love my job (most days). And I love getting to lead students out on missions and different things to try and point to a lifestyle of being missional. I think without an intentional bent on missional living, Christianity is a joke. It's like driving a car with no tires. To those who follow Jesus it's an insult to the redemptive work He did to never get outside the walls of the church. To those that don't follow Jesus, it points to the problem that caused society to move to a post-church mindset: that church and following Jesus is all about ME, and what I get out of the deal. And that we never get out and actually care about people. Okay, that's a post for another time. I am stepping off my soapbox now.
And so while I love what I get to do on that front in my job, I LOVED getting to help lead something and be a part of a team of people all working towards the same end. It felt so great to just go and love people, and not have to worry about too many logistics. It was fantastic. LOVED it. We are already talking about doing another one in the spring.
Which leads me to a question to end with: What are you doing to create good out there? How are you dropping bombs of hope and love on people who don't have any? How can you? Is it through your job? your hobbies? Can the things you do for a living or in your free time impact others around you?
They should.
Live deeper.
Here is one of the things I really enjoyed about this project: I got to be a part of something bigger than me, just for me. I wasn't doing it because I had to, and I wasn't doing it because I am the youth pastor and it's a part of my job. I got to do this just because there was a great opportunity to do something good for someone else. And that was great.
Don't get me wrong, I love my job (most days). And I love getting to lead students out on missions and different things to try and point to a lifestyle of being missional. I think without an intentional bent on missional living, Christianity is a joke. It's like driving a car with no tires. To those who follow Jesus it's an insult to the redemptive work He did to never get outside the walls of the church. To those that don't follow Jesus, it points to the problem that caused society to move to a post-church mindset: that church and following Jesus is all about ME, and what I get out of the deal. And that we never get out and actually care about people. Okay, that's a post for another time. I am stepping off my soapbox now.
And so while I love what I get to do on that front in my job, I LOVED getting to help lead something and be a part of a team of people all working towards the same end. It felt so great to just go and love people, and not have to worry about too many logistics. It was fantastic. LOVED it. We are already talking about doing another one in the spring.
Which leads me to a question to end with: What are you doing to create good out there? How are you dropping bombs of hope and love on people who don't have any? How can you? Is it through your job? your hobbies? Can the things you do for a living or in your free time impact others around you?
They should.
Live deeper.
For my one, follower, and anyone else who reads, if you don't know, I'm a youth pastor by profession when I quit slinging coffee. And I love what I do, in spite of my awkward and sometimes jaded upbringing in church and church culture.
So, I missed out on the national youth worker's convention this year, which usually bums me out, but what I saw of this year, I think skipping might have been a win for me. That's a topic for a different time probably, though part of why I am so excited is that I get to go see THIS GUY with my buddy, THIS GUY. A much better deal by far methinks.
Anyways, I have been streaming some of the general sessions from nywc just so I can hear part of the conversation that is going on, and the last (?) session had Francis Chan speaking, who is a super cool guy that I respect a great deal, because he is a lot more honest than I think most people working for churches would ever be, without fear of some committee coming and asking him to leave since he seems so disinterested. Again, another blog for another day.
Here is my point: he said this thing that is so encouraging, and so challenging all at the same time, so here it is:
The old me used to cry because of the lost, and then I became a pastor and now I don't cry..I want the old me back" - Francis Chan
I LOVE this quote. LOVE it. And here is why. This is life for a pastor, or at least that has been my experience. It is SO easy to get lost in planning for the next meeting, going over curriculum for the next small group, planning worship, scheduling events and transportation while considering security and volunteer roles/involvement that we completely miss the point of our jobs. It makes me wonder if there is something fundamentally wrong in the way we do our jobs. And, I think that this spreads to other jobs too, I don't think this is some "special privilege" for people working for churches. I think we all get lost in the small things, the over thought, over complicated things of life/work and we miss out. I mean, what if (for me as a youth pastor and you as "insert your job/time consuming responsibility here") we totally miss Jesus because he is in the slumped shoulders of a sad student that I miss because I am planning my report for the next meeting?
I think he brings up a great point, that while ministry is a job, and we definitely have responsibilities and stuff to do and get finished and such, is it worth doing if we are so wrapped up in it that we have no joy in our job? No interaction with our community? I can relate to that idea a lot, as I struggle with having a sense of community in my present location. I have a great youth group community, but my family has youth and youth sponsors, and that's our tribe. Which is great, but is not a group we do a lot with outside of youth stuff, which I step into as a youth pastor, as a staff person. I don't really get to be at church and be IN church. I'm always the youth guy, which means I get asked about computers, why teenagers are so noisy, why did I decide to do youth ministry and not go to seminary to be a "real pastor?" I never really go to worship to worship. It's like my worship time gets sucked up by the job. I wonder, if all us pastoral types were really honest, would we admit that we get to worship or not? and REALLY worship, not just sit in a worship service/experience.
Put it another way, do we go through the motions of worshipping and living out our relationship with Jesus, or is it a formality to serve our careers? Do we weep at things that God weeps for? Are we moved with compassion for those in need, or do we pat them on the back, say Jesus loves you, and offer them a bus ticket to the food for the homeless program down the road?
"...I became a pastor and now I don't cry..." that hits hard. I wonder if I'm the only one who feels like the job sucks out the life from the calling. I don't think I am, but I don't know how many would be honest and say that. I expect most would acknowledge that it happens, give a good theological argument for it being a "time in life where ______" followed by a bible verse or two about it, a couple verses about how God wants to change that, and an offer to pray for me, which would all feel kind of trite in a way because I think it takes a BIG thing that is deeply embedded in our hearts, and reduces it to an almost greeting card-like thing. Which frankly - no offense to those that do this - offends me deeply.
So I find myself glad I didn't go, but still considering things/conversations from NYWC. And praying that I work quickly and effectively, so that I can get the "work" done that I need to, but still be free and available to do the "ministry" that is what God really called me to.
live deeper
So, I missed out on the national youth worker's convention this year, which usually bums me out, but what I saw of this year, I think skipping might have been a win for me. That's a topic for a different time probably, though part of why I am so excited is that I get to go see THIS GUY with my buddy, THIS GUY. A much better deal by far methinks.
Anyways, I have been streaming some of the general sessions from nywc just so I can hear part of the conversation that is going on, and the last (?) session had Francis Chan speaking, who is a super cool guy that I respect a great deal, because he is a lot more honest than I think most people working for churches would ever be, without fear of some committee coming and asking him to leave since he seems so disinterested. Again, another blog for another day.
Here is my point: he said this thing that is so encouraging, and so challenging all at the same time, so here it is:
The old me used to cry because of the lost, and then I became a pastor and now I don't cry..I want the old me back" - Francis Chan
I LOVE this quote. LOVE it. And here is why. This is life for a pastor, or at least that has been my experience. It is SO easy to get lost in planning for the next meeting, going over curriculum for the next small group, planning worship, scheduling events and transportation while considering security and volunteer roles/involvement that we completely miss the point of our jobs. It makes me wonder if there is something fundamentally wrong in the way we do our jobs. And, I think that this spreads to other jobs too, I don't think this is some "special privilege" for people working for churches. I think we all get lost in the small things, the over thought, over complicated things of life/work and we miss out. I mean, what if (for me as a youth pastor and you as "insert your job/time consuming responsibility here") we totally miss Jesus because he is in the slumped shoulders of a sad student that I miss because I am planning my report for the next meeting?
I think he brings up a great point, that while ministry is a job, and we definitely have responsibilities and stuff to do and get finished and such, is it worth doing if we are so wrapped up in it that we have no joy in our job? No interaction with our community? I can relate to that idea a lot, as I struggle with having a sense of community in my present location. I have a great youth group community, but my family has youth and youth sponsors, and that's our tribe. Which is great, but is not a group we do a lot with outside of youth stuff, which I step into as a youth pastor, as a staff person. I don't really get to be at church and be IN church. I'm always the youth guy, which means I get asked about computers, why teenagers are so noisy, why did I decide to do youth ministry and not go to seminary to be a "real pastor?" I never really go to worship to worship. It's like my worship time gets sucked up by the job. I wonder, if all us pastoral types were really honest, would we admit that we get to worship or not? and REALLY worship, not just sit in a worship service/experience.
Put it another way, do we go through the motions of worshipping and living out our relationship with Jesus, or is it a formality to serve our careers? Do we weep at things that God weeps for? Are we moved with compassion for those in need, or do we pat them on the back, say Jesus loves you, and offer them a bus ticket to the food for the homeless program down the road?
"...I became a pastor and now I don't cry..." that hits hard. I wonder if I'm the only one who feels like the job sucks out the life from the calling. I don't think I am, but I don't know how many would be honest and say that. I expect most would acknowledge that it happens, give a good theological argument for it being a "time in life where ______" followed by a bible verse or two about it, a couple verses about how God wants to change that, and an offer to pray for me, which would all feel kind of trite in a way because I think it takes a BIG thing that is deeply embedded in our hearts, and reduces it to an almost greeting card-like thing. Which frankly - no offense to those that do this - offends me deeply.
So I find myself glad I didn't go, but still considering things/conversations from NYWC. And praying that I work quickly and effectively, so that I can get the "work" done that I need to, but still be free and available to do the "ministry" that is what God really called me to.
live deeper
As you may or may not know, I am a fan of local art, and think it's good for a person to be about supporting the locals. That said, one of the local guys I love put a couple songs online, in game format. It's pretty fantastic. So, I said to myself, why not share?
Here it is! Enjoy! (And trust me, I will ACTUALLY write something soon!)
Here it is! Enjoy! (And trust me, I will ACTUALLY write something soon!)
So, I'm really trying to think of something good for you, but I am having a hard time getting my brain to get firing. It's been a long day. Good, but long. So, I'll leave you with a picture of luke from the other day. He is a huge fan of the outside. I think that's so great. Hopefully he can keep that going. Anyways, til I have something useful to say, here ya go:
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